A place for everything that is close to my heart....from ramblings of an idle mind to something inspirational to fun and humor.....self-written and sourced....

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Customer care????

A hilarious but scary forward that I received :-)

Customer care in 2020

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Company. May I have your ...?"
Customer: "Hello, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold on......88986135610 2049998-45- 54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17, JalanKayu. Your home number is 4094 2366, your office number 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. You are calling from home now Sir?"
Customer: "Yes! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system, Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza?"
Operator : "That's not a good idea, Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, Sir"
Customer: "What? What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it."
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week, Sir"
Customer: "OK, I give up... Give me three family size ones then. How much will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99."
Customer: "Can I pay by credit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year.That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan,Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives."
Operator : "You can't, Sir. Based on the records,you' ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today."
Customer: "Never mind, just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready.How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait, you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.. "
Customer: " What?"
Operator : "According to the details in the system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123..."
Customer: " ????"
Operator : "Is there anything else, Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing! .. By the way... aren't you giving me those 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records, you're also diabetic.... ..."
Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^
Operator "Better watch your language, Sir. Remember, on 15th July, 1987, you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?"

6 comments:

Ryan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ryan said...

Lol

All this ONLY IF some jobless scientist does not discover that pizzas contain pesticides/are made out of sewage/ or causes cancer.....

Awesome blog!! I luvd the ode to blogging though i understood only a bit of it (Thanks to nithya)...Keep em coming!!!

Priya Iyer said...

Ryan,

Too scary a thought!

Thanks a lot for visiting and leaving a comment!Keep visiting!:-)

Ryan said...

and in case ur wondering my real name is sharanyan.....just twisted it around to form this name....so u can choose what to call me!!! :P

Sathej said...

Quite scary!But,I guess it would be a long time before such things actually happen.
Sathej

Priya Iyer said...

sathej,

i hope so :-)