Making sense of ads

Look at the matrimonial ads in any newspaper or even on the net and you will find a smattering of adjectives. Required a girl who is fair, tall, slim, well qualified, pretty, god fearing……….and the list goes on. Some are more specific, like “Wanted only a B.E. or doctor”. Somehow, this makes me feel as if they are product specifications. The product should be of the specified standard, otherwise it will not clear the quality control test. Sometimes there are 3 or 4 specifications, sometimes in certain specialized cases, they can go up to 8-10. What do you expect? A miracle woman or man?

‘Fair and slim’ seems to top the list. Everybody wants a fair and slim bride. No wonder Fair and Lovely and the like are doing good business in India. And, I would love to know, just how slim is ‘slim’, how tall is ‘tall’ and how decent is a ‘decent salary’. Just how broad is a ‘broad mind’? :-)

And, I never ever understood the concept of ‘god-fearing’. What exactly do people mean by ‘god-fearing’? Why should one fear God?

In fact, I am yet to understand many of the terms used in these ads. What does one mean by a ‘superman personality’? Can a girl be both ‘homely’ and ‘pretty’? I guess what they wanted to convey was ‘home-loving’ or ‘domesticated in household work’.

It is quite reasonable to know what your personality is like and expect similar qualities from your life partner. Here, I am referring to inherent qualities in the nature of a person and not about physical attributes. But, I cannot understand how one can have preconceived notions about the profession, complexion, weight and other such factors and then expect to find a partner who is tailor-made to suit these requirements. That makes marriage nothing more than an arrangement. Is that the purpose of marriage? What happened to the concept of finding a soulmate forever or that of finding love through marriage? How can one expect, “I will only fall in love with a person who is fair or who is a xxxx by profession?” Love just happens like that, atleast that is what I believe. Or are our parameters changing?